Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Hamburger Insurance


And now, a word from our sponsor:

(Sniff sniff) What's that I smell? No, it’s not week old meat. That sweet aroma is the new Hamburger Insurance in town and we promise to make the boring, annoying, and slightly naughty task of setting up insurance as tasty as possible.

Chow down on our "Big Savings Burger" that only costs you a $1 more than the average burger or try our new "We're Not Gonna Rip You Off Burger" with 1/3 less meat. And don't forget, we still offer everyone's favorite, "The Trust Us, Seriously We're Trustworthy Burger." Now, for a limited time, includes an extra layer of "Cheesy Trust" for only $1 more. 

And remember if you spill ketchup or mustard on your insurance paperwork, don't fret. We'll give you a new packet for free. That's right! You can start from page one and not wonder, is this application going to cost me another twelve dollars? Plus, we'll give you your first month free because you'll probably be really embarrassed. Other patrons will most assuredly watch you walk back up to the counter for a new packet and think that you're a greasy slob and don't know how to eat a simple burger properly.

Hamburger Insurance. We're here to make your belly full and your head filled with peace of mind. Hamburger Insurance. Insurance has never tasted so good!