Patient: Wonder?
Therapist: Yes, wonder.
Patient: I do, I guess.
Therapist: Approximately how often and at which time of the day would you say you wonder most?
Patient: Well, I don’t know an exact amount.
Therapist: I need an exact number.
Patient: I don’t know.
Therapist: Think. Think like you never thought before. (pause) What’s wrong with your face?
Patient: This is me thinking.
Therapist: Hmm...
Patient: What?
Therapist: The inability to count can mean one of several different, but all quite serious medical conditions dating back to the prehistoric-
Patient: Ten!
Therapist: I beg your pardon?
Patient: Definitely ten. I wonder ten times a day.
Therapist: Are you absolutely positive?
Patient: Uh… yes.
Therapist: Hmm…
Patient: What now?
Therapist: A great philosopher known only to the world as Milo, once said, "those who wonder less, don't really wonder at all." With such a miniscule amount of wondering occuring in your life, I really must insist that we increase our visit frequency to once every six hours in order to better understand-
Patient: But I- I’m wondering right now.
Therapist: Really?!
Patient: Absolutely. Tons of wondering.
Therapist: Tell me what you’re wondering. Tell me every tiny little detail. I need to get a clear visual of your mind.
Patient: I’m wondering…
Therapist: Go on. It’s okay. Remember, I'm your safety net.
Patient: I’m wondering, what there is to wonder about?
Therapist: Surely, you can't be serious.
Patient: Why not?
Therapist: Well you can't wonder about wondering. It creates an impenetrable paradox.
Patient: That's more of a reason to wonder about it then.
Therapist: Now I'm wondering about you wondering about wondering. This is quite the mess you've made. I'm going to have to clear my week's schedule so we can sort this business out. Unbelievable. (pause) Are you by any chance allergic to bees and/or hula hoops?
Patient: Not that I'm aware of.
Therapist: Wonderful. Please remove your clothes and we can begin.
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